Social Work Today E-Zine

Holiday celebrations focused on food are difficult for persons recovering from eating disorders, and challenging for their family and friends. Many well-meaning persons may find themselves wondering how to behave around persons recovering from eating disorders. Should they encourage their loved one to eat or ignore his or her eating disorder entirely?

“Ideally, family and friends should be sensitive to the fact that their guest or loved one has an eating disorder,” says Theresa Fassihi, PhD, a psychologist with the Eating Disorders Program at The Menninger Clinic. “Respect that, while the meal may be a joyous occasion for you, it may be stressful to a person with an eating disorder, especially one who has recently completed treatment.”

Food-centered events may trigger eating disorder behavior, such and bingeing and purging, for some persons in recovery. To prepare for an upcoming meal, persons recovering from eating disorders often plan in advance what they will eat and may have dietary restrictions that prevent them from eating certain foods.

Fassihi offers some do’s and don’ts for families and friends celebrating the holidays with persons recovering from eating disorders:

Do:

• Offer food to family and friends instead of forcing it on them. Instead of saying, “You have to eat some of my famous pecan pie,” say instead, "Would you like to try a piece of my pecan pie?” Graciously accept “no” as an answer if your family member with an eating disorder turns down a particular dish.

• Treat your loved one with an eating disorder like the rest of the family or friends. Singling out the loved one will make him or her feel uncomfortable and want to avoid being around others.

Don’t:

• Don’t watch your family member with an eating disorder eat or ask questions about what he or she is, or is not, eating.

• Don’t talk about shape or weight—theirs or yours, including complimenting them on their appearance. This could trigger negative feelings or difficult-to-manage thoughts about body image in a person with an eating disorder.

— Source: Menninger Clinic